PORNOGRAPHY
Boogey Nights
Boogey
Nights Extravaganza
My
dear children, what is all this fuss over porn? In the past weeks
several letters have arrived, all doing with porn. It seems that the
advent of Boogey Nights has changed some views on the porn industry, and
certainly boosted interest. Here are three of the most interesting
letters, all from people within or considering the porn industry
(including one STRAIGHT porn star!!).
Posing Porn Mom
Dear Diva,
I am a mostly happily married woman with two beautiful
children and a stable home life. My problem is that our sex life
has become bland or non-existent and I am considering looking for a
outside sources. Just yesterday a photographer who I work with
platonically, asked if I was interested in doing some porno. I was
intrigued by the idea of money, sex and anonymity.
My concerns are centered around the destruction of my
family. Am I wrong to have these desires? Will my husband find
out? Will my “scene” be as fulfilling as I hope?
Lost In Sacramento
Dear
Sexpot,
You must be a honey to receive such an invite. Dear girl, think,
think, think! You have a stable home life, children, a snore of a
husband in bed who seems to have provided for you quite well in
other ways and a career with a photographer. But you have desires….
Honey, we all have desires. You might consider a discreet delivery
from the grocery boy, a favor in exchange for ignoring the speeding
ticket Officer, or a job in the White House. But NO! You want to
perform in a porn film. Dear, are you reading this? As much as
writing is beloved, answering questions all day does become – uh –
shall we say, routine? To be good at anything you must practice,
practice, practice. You must be directable and able to take
criticism. Fulfilling as you hope? Probably not. In fact, you
might not even be able to do your thing with the full film team
around, you may have to act (like with your husband!).
Nothing is worth the destruction of the family. But you’re going to
do it anyway, aren’t you? And you think hubby will see it. In that
case, if you are sure your husband will see the film, then you
probably should do it. First, he will see you as a desirable sex
object (sorry dear, that’s the truth) and second, porn is more often
prescribed than new wall paper to fix dull bedrooms.
S**** Gets In Your Eyes
Dear Diva,
I’m an actor in the porn industry and there is a
frequently recurring problem I encounter. A lot of the time when it
gets down to the “final shot”, the director wants to have the scene
end with the focus on the girl’s face. The problem is that
sometimes the “shot” ends up in the girl’s eyes, which reins the
scene, not to mention is uncomfortable for her and makes me feel
bad, as she is supposed to be enjoying herself and keep her eyes
open.
Can you see a solution to this problem?
Joel Lawrence
Dear Sir
Lawrence,
You have enhanced the life of one of your fans. Allow some waxing
on the wonder of you (how much better to answer you in person if it
were possible!). Looking at the stack of your videos (The Make-Up
Room, The Swap, The Trade, Lethal Love, Telesex, Candy Man Video
Series, Boat Orgy, Swinging In The Rain, The Nurse, and Betrayed)
the memory of hours of pleasure are reawakened. We all owe you one
big, long, thank you. We hear that “Swinging In The Rain” is up for
an award, well, best of luck.
Your concern for the girl is most impressive. It is clear from your
work you are most concerned with her pleasure, but to also be
concerned for her well being is just plain wonderful. Even the
President doesn’t seem to care if his spew tarnishes a lovely summer
dress! First advice is to talk to director Cash Markman and ask him
to show a little more creativity. Those silent film poses are a bit
cliché, surely there are options. And for a solution, “Hyper Tears”
is a wonderful product for cleansing your eyes without chemicals,
drugs or that strange ‘glow in the dark’ effect most eye drops have
on in front of the camera.
Yet you can take your concern to a much higher level. One of the
irritants in semen is acidic content, another is mineral content.
It is well known by the connoisseur that certain foods alter the
smell and taste. This is due to the acid/mineral content. There
fore, avoid broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus and the likes. In
addition, coffee and smoking cigarettes can add very annoying
irritants. A three day moratorium on these prior to a shoot will
suffice.
Now, a question for you young man. What are you thinking starring
in all these films without use of a condom? Shame, shame. Take
responsibility, son. Don’t make the straight world have to live
through the hell from the AIDS plague we have. You are established
as a star, so you might begin to make some safe-sex videos. That
way you will save the lives you excite. (P.S. Thanks for including
your phone number…)
Macho Homophobe
Dear Diva,
I’m a gay make-up artist in the LA porn world and I ran
across an interesting situation and I need some advice. One of the
more famous lead male actors, a very straight, testosterone driven
young man, has a brother who is gay. He has a very difficult time
dealing with his feelings around this and comes to me,
subconsciously I think, to learn how to deal with his feelings. He
makes very inappropriate and graphically suggestive comments about
my being gay. I would like to help him, but I don’t want to be
insulted or condescended to.
Help Me Diva,
Anonymous
Dear Miss
Powder Puff,
Make-up tips we could share, but this is a bit of a pickle. Your
letter seems to be saying he is somehow working out a way to deal
with his brother, but being a stupid jerk and straight pig (did we
get you right?) he can’t relate to the world other than in vulgar
ways. Darling, it is 1998! We should be far beyond this. Perhaps
he can’t read or is too busy looking in the mirror to watch TV!
Honey, you should never - NEVER - let anyone talk badly to you or do
any inappropriate action. You are a beloved child of God and let no
one tell you differently. Do not be roped into a low self-esteemed
position because of a desire to help. Speak frankly to him. Tell
him, in simple words and short sentences, what you believe he is
doing. If he is in denial, he will take a strong dislike to you and
your troubles are over, and if not he may find that you treat him
seriously and care about him - a phenomenon he has obviously missed
in life. Better yet, talk with his brother. If nothing else, he
needs an ally if that is the sort of family he comes from. You are
a dear.
Stars Need Advice
Porn Stars Need
Advice
Some time ago, Diva had the good fortune to
meet two of our most delicious gay brothers, porn stars Donny Russo and
Rick Bolton. The way we met isn't important, but what a story that
was! At any rate, these boys had a lot of curiosity to satisfy, for
which Diva is extremely grateful, and after that they had some
questions. Diva is sure you are all asking the same questions, so here
are their questions and Diva's replies.
Warning: These boys live in a graphic world, and ask graphic questions.
Squeemish readers are duly warned.
Performance Maximum
Dear Diva,
I would like to
know how many times a man can cum in one day before there is none
left.
Donny Russo
Dear Donny, Sir,
Diva has been
doing exhausting research on this with her entourage and every other
man she has met. Her laundry bill alone makes this one of the
questions of the year, and one wig is completely ruined! At any
rate, there were some startling results from the research. First, a
urologist said that if a man does not ejaculate about two or three
times per week then he is in danger of prostatitis, or even cancer
of the prostate in later life. As for the exact number, I guess,
Donny, that the answer has to do with you being there as inspiration
more than with the physical facility of the man in question.
Perhaps you would be willing to be present for the research, this
might change the findings in a big way.
Bestiality Fantasy
Dear Diva,
I want weird sex
but I'm afraid to say anything because I appear in videos. Sex with
pigs is what I want. Tell me what to do.
Rick Bolton
Dear Rick,
What is weird
about sex with pigs? As Diva looks over her ex-lovers she finds
many pigs on the list, and she had sex with them all! While sex
with animals (bestiality) may be a legitimate sexual taste, you’ll
find that it is not the most common practice. The problems, and
reason it’s illegal, are that, first, syphilis was introduced to
humans by sex with sheep and, second, some animals are capable of
having offspring when mated with humans. These two facts make it a
very risky practice. But I suppose that safe sex should be
practiced, though it is not easy to find out from the sow of your
choice what the sexual past has been. I encourage you to find safe,
legal solutions to your cravings. In the mean time, if you really
want to have sex with a pig, I might suggest you go down to the
office of an esteemed Congressman from North Carolina and call "Sooey!
Sooey!" Maybe you'll get lucky. He seems to be out to screw every
one of us.
Jealous of Lover’s Porn
Dear Diva,
I enjoy looking at porno magazines but my lover gets
jealous when I do. What can I do?
Mag Fan
Dear Mag Fan,
Diva loves to look
at pretty, inspiring pictures herself. Perhaps you would loan her
some of your better choices, that is if the pages are independent.
There are all sorts of adult enhancement tools out there, and they
do no harm - IF they are acceptable to both parties in a couple. In
your case, however, I suspect that your lover has a problem you are
not saying. Had you confessed that he gets "angry" or "irritated"
then Diva would have told him to get a hobby. But when you say
"jealous," that makes Diva pause. Are you perhaps so stuck to your
pages that you have found a replacement for the actual man in your
bed? Or perhaps you make comments which make him feel "less than"
adequate to please you. Next time you are spending time looking at
things, Diva suggests you look at what might be straightened out on
your side of the bed. And if he is still left out, you keep your
magazines and send the real thing to Diva, she much prefers the real
thing.
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